Are you facing problems in your relationship? Are you also a victim of overthinking? Learn here the expert tips on how to stop overthinking in a relationship.
Overthinking grips all of us at some other point in life. Many times, we over think silliest of things or things that don’t even exist or are unlikely to emerge ever. According to the research of Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, a human being has approximately 60,000 thoughts per day- and 90% of these are repetitive. That’s massive- isn’t it?
There’s a very fine line between repetitive thoughts and overthinking. Overthinking has a negative connotation to it.
Overthinking is more related to worry, anxiety, fear, insecurity, jealousy, doubt, confusion, and sadness. Overthinking can be in any sphere of life. But today, we are specifically going to discuss relationships and some expert tips to stop overthinking in a relationship.
Sometimes, we all overthink in a relationship, but if it goes untamed and unsolved, it can ruin even the best of relationships. You are steeped in the world of your own negative thoughts and fall victim to them.
Why People Overthink In A Relationship:
Overthinking can be factual, habitual, imaginative, or because of some disorders. Whatever may be the reason, overthinking can prove awfully disastrous for a relationship.
Here are a few common reasons why people overthink:
- If they are suffering from any psychiatric disorder.
- If they have a history of being betrayed or cheated or broken trust in a previous relationship.
- If they know or somewhere doubt the authenticity or trustworthiness of the current partner.
- If for any reason they are too possessive about or insecure in their relationship.
- If they have a controlling nature and believe that they can control external events or their partner.
- They are emotionally too vulnerable and don’t know how to handle their emotions.
- If they have the insecurity or fear of losing their partner.
- If they are timid personalities and lack confidence in themselves.
- If they have low self-esteem.
- Lack of understanding or incompatibility between partners.
- They are too worried about what family, friends, and other people think about their relationship.
- Just out of the habit of thinking negatively.
Expert Tips To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship:
1. Think why you overthink:
Once you are aware of the fact or someone points it out to you that you are overthinking, contemplate and try to figure out the reason you are doing so. Is it because of some past experiences, is it because of the trust issues with your partner in the present, are you going through some psychiatric issues, is it your weakness, your nature, or what?
Once you understand the reason, try to work on it and see how you can sort out this issue so that you can be at peace. Do whatever it needs to come out of this depressing pit of overthinking.
2. Build Trust:
Trust and transparency are the two important subtleties that make any relationship strong. It is very important to have trust in each other in order to keep the relationship going.
If your partner has an antecedent or tendency of cheating on you, lie, or being manipulative then somewhere your overthinking is justifiable. But in this case, also, talk to your partner and try to sort things out, or else consider a separation if you wish or deem any other solution for your peace of mind.
Presuming your partner is trustworthy, talk things out, discuss what they meant, and take their words at face value. Remind yourself of all their good qualities, their character, and their good conduct, and trust them conspicuously.
3. Do not try to control:
Do not try to control your partner. However loving and dependent your relationship is, no one likes to be overtly controlled. Your partner might start feeling suffocated and want to run away from you. And then you would start feeling that your partner is abandoning you or trying to get rid of you.
That will again lead you to overthink. While actually, the fact here is that your partner is trying to escape your controlling nature. At the end of the day, your partner is an individual and would definitely want to have some own space. Just let them be.
4. Speak your heart out to your partner:
If at all you feel anything amiss in your relationship, sit and discuss it with your partner. Speak your heart out, and ask questions. Understand their perspective, and clear out things. Share your concerns, and express your love. And leave no space for overthinking in your relationship.
5. Decipher your kind of relationship:
Be clear in your mind about what kind of relationship you want with your partner. Firstly, give everything to your partner that you want from them. Secondly, have a dialogue with your partner and let them know how you expect your relationship to be. Communication can solve many relationship issues. Communicate unhitched and prevent yourself from the entire circle of overthinking.
6. Share with people who care:
At times, when you are inside a particular situation, you are unable to see it holistically. You just perceive things from your angle. Your worldview of the situation gets narrowed down to your feelings and you conveniently distort the whole situation.
Therefore, sometimes it becomes crucial to talk to people who you think are wise and you can confide in, whom you trust completely and are sure would advise you in your best interest. These people could be anyone- family, friends, colleagues, or just about anyone.
Sharing makes you feel lighter. It gives you the comfort that you are not alone and there is someone you can count on.
And such people can help you in understanding the situation as an outsider, unbiasedly, giving you a totally different perspective. This might help you a great deal in coming out of the trap of overthinking.
7. Seek professional help:
Your overthinking could be because of some psychiatric issues or compulsive disorders. And even if it is not, it is good to take the help of a psychiatrist or professional counselors. Going through a few counseling sessions or taking medication, if required is always a wise thing to do.
8. Make meditation a way of life:
Mental wellness has become a big issue in this stressful and competitive age we are living in. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and other disorders have become very common. People find it difficult to deal with their emotions. The mind goes through non-stop chatter all the time which needs to be quietened.
Our ancient saints always said that a strong mind can carry a weak body, but a weak mind cannot carry even the strongest and healthiest body for long. Meditation for mental health is inevitable in current times and times coming forth.
Meditation helps to clear the chaos, restore peace, bring clarity of thoughts, improve sleep quality, work on the grey matter of the brain, and has several other benefits. The stronger and more sorted your mind is, the less it will get trapped in the net of overthinking.
9. Keep the devil away:
An empty mind is the devil’s workshop. The more ideal time you have the more chance and time you will get to overthink. Just check that are you having too much spare time? If yes, it’s an alarm to get on your toes.
Make yourself busy. Take up any activity you like, develop your hobbies, hone your skills, get involved with some service activities, socialize with positive people, read self-help and motivating stuff, or do anything productive that adds value to your life. But keep yourself occupied so that your mind doesn’t get time to overthink in the first place.
10. Train your mind to think positively:
Some people have this innate habit of thinking negatively for no reason or reasons unknown. They are talented enough to find shortcomings in the most positive of situations and people. And this useless talent makes them a cribber, fault finders, and overthinkers.
If you realize that you have a tendency of thinking negatively or if people point it out to you, it is your responsibility to take charge of your thoughts.
Exercise thinking positively. Stop finding faults, start accepting people and situations, see goodness in everyone and everything, especially your partner, develop an attitude of gratitude and practice positive affirmations.
Remember, overthinking is all about negativity. Keep your mind and thoughts positive and it will automatically lead you to stop overthinking in a relationship.
It is evident that overthinking is a termite that can damage your relationship to any extent. The reason could be any, but the outcome of overthinking is mostly the same – dejection, frustration, and in worst cases separation.
So, if you are even the slightest of this overthinking lot, spare yourself from this horror by following the above tips on how to stop overthinking in a relationship.